April Mop dan 10 Bulan yang Lalu

i love you.

tidak perlu banyak kata. dulu, sekarang, dan seterusnya. itu saja.
ini serius. percayalah.

31 Agustus 2011

Ingin rasanya kembali ke hari itu, ke malam itu. Hari yang selama hampir sepanjang tahun selalu kutunggu, hari di mana hanya ada kamu, pahitnya kopi, dan manisnya obrolan yang menyempurnakan langit malam. Hari itu aku, masih berambut hampir sepinggang, kamu dengan baju merah kesayanganmu, dan percakapan yang sampai hari ini belum ada akhirnya. Semua kita tuangkan bersama, mulai dari obrolan konyol seputar gang Doli, perkebunan kopi, hingga masa lalu kita yang sebenarnya agak canggung kudendangkan, tetapi ingin kudengar lantunannya darimu.

Bagaimana mata kita? Oh, mereka bertatapan, meski sekali pandanganmu berpindah ke kumpulan perempuan cantik mengenakan hak tinggi yang mengundang komentarmu, “Mengapa mereka harus menyiksa diri seperti itu?”, yang hanya kutanggapi dengan senyuman karena aku tidak mampu berpenampilan seperti mereka tetapi dalam hati bersyukur, semoga ini yang membuatku berbeda di matamu. Dan baumu! Saya tidak tahu pasti itu parfum apa, baunya tersamarkan bau rokokmu dan sweatermu yang kamu pakai saat mengantarku pulang, tapi telah menggelitik hidungku, mengantarnya hingga ke kepala, menyimpannya di memori, menjadikannya kenangan.

Malam itu, aku jatuh hati padamu. Saat di mana aku bukan milik siapa-siapa, begitu pun kamu dan masa lalumu. Tidak ada janji yang terucap, tapi di dalam hati aku berkata semoga denganmu semua luka bisa terobati, memulainya dari awal lagi, sembari berharap ini yang terakhir.

Dan bagaimana kita hari ini? Ah, ternyata berbeda. Kamu kembali dengan dunia lamamu, dengan kebebasanmu. Dan aku, aku kini milik orang lain. Janji itu ternyata bukan untukmu. Terkadang menyatukan hati tidak semudah menyatukan pikiran. Inilah kita hari ini, berdansa dengan cangkir dan lini masa, sendiri-sendiri. Mungkin hari seperti ini tidak akan pernah hadir kembali, dilebur waktu dan kenangan yang mungkin akan dilupakan.

                                                                     

Dan malam ini, aku kembali teringat. Tentang kamu, dan hari itu. Akankah kita duduk bersama lagi, bersama kopi, rambutku yang kini pendek, dan kemejamu yang menggantikan sweater dan kaos itu? Ah ya, obrolan kita bahkan belum tuntas. Masih banyak, dan semakin banyak hal yang ingin kubagi denganmu, juga lantunan impian yang selalu ingin kudengar darimu. Intinya, aku rindu kamu.

So let’s go offline, set the date and chat. Finish the stories. Will you?

Unsocial Social Network - Hibernation

Back to Makassar means back to my REAL life. Since I left Sorowako and being here again my activity has been change, back to how it used to be. It’s kinda, even totally different than when I was in Sorowako, when I spent most of my time with internet because I didn’t have so much things to do in a small town like that. Be friends with my social network accounts, such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and so on, and so on. Made me really became an unsocial person.

But man, this is a big city, and back to real life means back again to my daily routine, meet people, and sure, become a social person. In fact, since I’m back in here and I really enjoy my new life it feels like I forget my social network accounts because I’m too glad to meet my friends and my bf and spend time with them. Oh yes, I still a social person.

So, enough for unsocial social network. I’ve spent too much time with it, so I decide to hibernating starts from today. Will leave all my account for couple of weeks while internet connection in my home is totally bad lately and I also have to reinstall my laptop and smartphone. I also think to make some underconstruction for ALL my social network account, well just for make something new to celebrate my 21th birthday, a new phase in my life. I still have no idea what it will be, well let me think about that. Due I still owe you my stories, I promise I’ll wake up soon from this hibernation.

See you again (maybe) on my birthday.

Have a nice dream.

Today's Coffee

Yay, Lebaran!

It’s very nice to celebrate Idul Fitri this year after I spent Ramadhan without my family even it’s not the first time, actually. But being home, meeting people again, and spending time by do something I like in my room are things that I really miss. And nothing will beat, my ‘date’ with a cup of coffee, especially in the morning.

So I’ve got it, today, a very special day with coffee. Started with ‘kopi tubruk’ in the morning; a gift from someone, robusta coffee from Enrekang that he promised me since few days ago; and spent night by sitting in a coffee shop, enjoy my Colombian Medellin while he smelt his Double Espresso. Oh my, feels like I found my life back after stuck in Sorowako for more than 5 months.

But wait, ‘my life back’? Which life has back? Well I just suddenly remember how I live my life before I went to Sorowako. And how everything has different now, when almost things has been changed. The way I dress, the way I tie my hair, how I talk, how I walk, what I feel, what I think. I don’t know but, I just… feel it.

And one thing you can see from it difference now is you can find I often alone lately. When before I went to Sorowako I had a boyfie that we always been around together, but as you know we’re broke up. It was quite annoying to me when everybody asks me, “Where’s he? Gosh, you’re broke up? But how come!” damn, as it will never happen to me. But I admit to you, my biggest fear is I still remember him as every corner in this town reminds me about him. How we spent almost one year together, it’s not easy to forget, yeah I know. I enjoy my freedom now, but sometime still curse myself how I made damn mistake that back to him and now, we’re broke up again for the same reason. Call me stupid, that the fact.

But as I got from this conversation tonight is it’s not suppose to feel this way. Nothing’s wrong with the decision to broke up, even the past may never dead on my mind because all have to do is keep is as a memory and learn from that mistake. Live must goes on, as I find my new spirit now to change my life. From become a vegetarian, wear some blouse (even only for satnite), work out often, and all educated project I’ll do for this semester. And with all my friends and people I love around me, well there’s nothing wrong to being lonely for this time. It’s not forever anyway, just not the right time yet until I find the best one for being together with again.

And I believe as I tasted my coffee tonight, everything will be greater, neither without sugar nor the creamer, or no matter how much it is. Live will be better at it best time, after all.

PS: Way too much coffee makes me mad with this insomniac tonight. But if weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever :)

Gerhana

Bulan dan matahari adalah sepasang kekasih, yang hanya bisa bersenggama ketika gerhana.
Bulan dan matahari menderita. Mereka tak pernah satu waktu. Itulah mengapa mereka mencintai gerhana.
Mereka selalu menunggu konspirasi waktu, untuk lalu berpisah berlawanan arah.

Demi bumi mereka mengitari.
Karena bumi, bulan dan matahari terhalangi.

Kau tahu apa yang bulan tinggalkan untuk matahari? Ia meninggalkan kecupan lewat embun pada fajar, tangan matahari yang berusaha mengangkat diri di ufuk cakrawala.
Sebagai gantinya, matahari menitipkan cahyanya pada milyaran bintang, untuk menemani malamnya.

Itulah cinta, tanpa bosan mereka lakukan berulang-ulang.
Embun dan bintang, pesan cinta yang tersebar ke penjuru semesta.
Demi bulan, embun, bintang dan matahari. Aku pun sedang menunggu gerhana, denganmu, tanpa akan terpisah lagi.

Denganmu, kita ciptakan gerhana sendiri,
menunggu pesan cinta yang kau titipkan pada semesta.