Today's Coffee

Yay, Lebaran!

It’s very nice to celebrate Idul Fitri this year after I spent Ramadhan without my family even it’s not the first time, actually. But being home, meeting people again, and spending time by do something I like in my room are things that I really miss. And nothing will beat, my ‘date’ with a cup of coffee, especially in the morning.

So I’ve got it, today, a very special day with coffee. Started with ‘kopi tubruk’ in the morning; a gift from someone, robusta coffee from Enrekang that he promised me since few days ago; and spent night by sitting in a coffee shop, enjoy my Colombian Medellin while he smelt his Double Espresso. Oh my, feels like I found my life back after stuck in Sorowako for more than 5 months.

But wait, ‘my life back’? Which life has back? Well I just suddenly remember how I live my life before I went to Sorowako. And how everything has different now, when almost things has been changed. The way I dress, the way I tie my hair, how I talk, how I walk, what I feel, what I think. I don’t know but, I just… feel it.

And one thing you can see from it difference now is you can find I often alone lately. When before I went to Sorowako I had a boyfie that we always been around together, but as you know we’re broke up. It was quite annoying to me when everybody asks me, “Where’s he? Gosh, you’re broke up? But how come!” damn, as it will never happen to me. But I admit to you, my biggest fear is I still remember him as every corner in this town reminds me about him. How we spent almost one year together, it’s not easy to forget, yeah I know. I enjoy my freedom now, but sometime still curse myself how I made damn mistake that back to him and now, we’re broke up again for the same reason. Call me stupid, that the fact.

But as I got from this conversation tonight is it’s not suppose to feel this way. Nothing’s wrong with the decision to broke up, even the past may never dead on my mind because all have to do is keep is as a memory and learn from that mistake. Live must goes on, as I find my new spirit now to change my life. From become a vegetarian, wear some blouse (even only for satnite), work out often, and all educated project I’ll do for this semester. And with all my friends and people I love around me, well there’s nothing wrong to being lonely for this time. It’s not forever anyway, just not the right time yet until I find the best one for being together with again.

And I believe as I tasted my coffee tonight, everything will be greater, neither without sugar nor the creamer, or no matter how much it is. Live will be better at it best time, after all.

PS: Way too much coffee makes me mad with this insomniac tonight. But if weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever :)